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Traditional & Custom Wedding Ceremonies

The tradition of the bridal shower originated in Holland. A father disapproved of his daughter's desired marriage to a poor miller and refused her a dowry. Upon learning this, the miller's friends and village people showered the bride with gifts to replace the traditional dowry. Later, in England, a woman whose good friend was marrying, remembered this story and invited the bride-to-be's good friends to all present their gifts together. This led to today's tradition of the bridal shower.

The Hostess(es)

While it is traditionally the maid of honor, bridesmaids and mother of the bride who host the bridal shower, there is no hardfast rule about other individuals hosting it. There are also no rules concerning the number of showers. It may be that your bridesmaids and close friends will host one shower, your mother may host one with relatives and family friends, and the groom's mother may also host one for thier side of the family. Regardless of who hosts it, however, the key people (mothers for both bride and groom, bridesmaids, and other special women--grandmothers, etc.) may be included in invitations for each event. However, they would not be required to bring a gift to each, but rather just to one.

Mixed or Single Gender?

The traditional bridal shower is for female relatives and friends of the bride who, it is important to note, will also be invited to the wedding. Today, however, there are also "Jack and Jill" showers at which the groom and male friends and relatives may be invited. This may be a cocktail party, a dinner, or a brunch, whatever you, your fiance, and your shower hostess(es) wish to plan.

Themes

Many showers follow a certain theme, publicized ahead of time by the host/ hostess and other close friends. Some examples follow:

• Kitchen: guests bring gifts relating to the kitchen.
• Around the Clock: guests are assigned a certain hour of the day or night and bring a gift that is appropriate for that hour.
• Special Interest: if the bride and groom are big golfers, for example, guests may be asked to bring a gift following that theme.

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