Specializing In Memorable
Traditional & Custom Wedding Ceremonies

Your wedding vows are the heart of your wedding ceremony. Most religious denominations have traditional wedding vows that you and your fiance may choose to use. Alternatively, you may prefer to write your own vows.

Background Work

If you are being married in a religious setting, ask your officiant early on to provide you with a copy of your church's traditional, as well as any alternative, wedding vows. Discuss with him up front any part of the vows that are required by the faith versus those that may be personalized. If you are being married in a secular service, you will most likely be free to write much of your service, although it is useful to double check early on with your officiant concerning any guidelines he/she would like you to follow.

Ideas

As you think about your vows, consider what type of statements you and your fiance would like to make to each other publicly about your relationship, your plans and hopes for the future. What do you expect and hope to receive in your relationship and what do you want to give your spouse? What do love and marriage mean to you? The following suggestions might be helpful points to ponder:

• traits important to the marriage and what they mean (e.g. commitment, fidelity, encouragement, support)
• roles for husband and wife and issues of equality and individuality
• pledges/promises to each other
• commitment to making marriage last
• hopes and dreams for future
• acknowledgement of both good and difficult times in future

Once you have written your vows, be sure to pass them by your officiant to ensure there are no conflicts with your faith.

During the Service

Review with your officiant how you, your fiance, and wedding party will be aligned during the vows. In some faiths, the bride and groom keep their backs to the congregation during the vows, while in others, the officiant turns his/her back to the congregation so that the bride and groom are able to face their guests and witnesses. It is helpful to discuss this with your officiant reasonably early on to determine whether your preferences are acceptable to the church, rather than be surprised at the rehearsal.

Once you have determined your placement during the vows, you may consider the following ideas for further personalizing this part of your ceremony:

• Memorize your vows, read them, or repeat them after your officiant (this holds true whether you use the traditional vows or write your own)
• Include two sets of vows: the traditional ones within your faith as well as those you write yourselves
• Have parents and/or others special to you reaffirm their own vows after you and your fiance complete yours
• Dim the lights and have the wedding party hold lighted candles during the vows
• Go into the congregation and embrace your parents and your new in-laws following your vows

However you choose to do your vows, remember: You will probably be nervous during the ceremony--keep your vows reasonably simple to avoid additional stress.

Following the Ceremony

A beautiful custom for preserving your vows is to have them calligraphied on a large piece of formal paper/parchment, with enough lines underneath for all of your guests to sign as witnesses. Guests can sign this as they leave the ceremony site or as they enter the reception. The wording could begin with both of your full names, followed by the vows themselves, and then the date and signatures. Framed, this makes a sentimental, long- lasting reminder of your emotions and commitment to each other on this memorable day.

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