Specializing In Memorable
Traditional & Custom Wedding Ceremonies

1. Who are your attendants? How many attendants are you going to have?
   
   Make sure you have alternates or spares, because sometimes people decline your invitations to be attendants, or have to decline to participate in your event at the last minute because of extenuating circumstances.
   
   
2. Are you going to have any children in the wedding party? What are their ages?
   
   As with attendants, have alternates. It's also a good idea to plan ahead as to their level of participation, especially if they are young - plan on having the younger ones at the rehearsal, complete with flashbulbs and a crowd to get them used to being in front of lots of people and excitement. Many times, younger children who haven't been oriented this way will run away out of fear during the actual ceremony.
   
   
3. Are any of your wedding party or guests coming from out of state?
   
   Make sure they can secure accommodations; or better yet, secure accommodations for them.
   
   
4. Do you know what the mothers of the bride and groom are going to wear?
   
   What the mothers of the bride and groom wear is very important. The bride should take them out to lunch and find out what colors they like and what they plan on wearing at the wedding. It often occurs when people are not aware of what the mothers of the couple are going to wear that the color scheme of the mothers and the attendants don't match. The couple's wedding pictures then come out poorly because of this.
   
   
5. Is the groom's mother (and anyone else important in the wedding party) allergic to any flowers or foods?
   
   Find out if any of these people are allergic to any flowers or foods. The Rebbitzin advises this is very important - you can make enemies for life on this one.
   
   
6. Don't forget to include the groom's and bride's sisters and/or brothers in the wedding in some way.
   
   It doesn't have to be a major role, sometimes it's a reading, sometimes it's as an usher, etc. You want to try to avoid hurting anyone's feelings unnecessarily.
   
   
7. Have you located your wedding cake top?
   
   While the year of wedding planning is going on, you might want to look for your wedding cake top. The Rebbitzin says that ethnic bakeries, like her favorite, the Mozzicato De Pasquale (Italian) bakery on Franklin Avenue in Hartford, often have very fancy and stylish cake tops, for very reasonable prices. Once you purchase your cake top, set it aside in a box and give it to your baker or caterer when your cake is created before your wedding.
   
   
8. Speaking of the wedding cake, did you know that you don't have to have a cake all of a single flavor or type?
   
   For instance, if the groom's favorite flavor is chocolate, and yours is carrot, you can certainly have a layer of each inside the cake. Many couples have multiple flavors inside their cake, all covered with the standard butter cream frosting which makes it all look the same. When the time come to cut it, you can have the servers separate the layers the serve the appropriate flavors to your guests.
   
   
9. What are you giving your guests as party favors?
   
   An excellent time to think of what favors you want to give your guests is during the year or so before your ceremony. You then have time to choose them without pressure or stress, buying at a low volume price, and putting them away until the reception, a much more stressful time when you don't have time to think about things like this.
   
   
10. Are children coming to the reception?
    
    If children are coming to the reception, it's a good idea to make sure that the facility or caterer has a children's menu, with things kids like to eat (kids may like chicken, but few eat caviar). You don't want to serve a child an adult's portion if you don't have to: see if you can get a less expensive meal for the kids.
    
    
11. What are your guests going to do while they wait for you to take pictures?
    
    While pictures are going on after the ceremony, its a good idea to have a snack table and open bar - your guests, many of whom might have come from outside the state and may be hungry or tired, will appreciate it. Having something to snack on will also make it less apparent to the guests about how long your pictures are taking.
    
    
12. What about Bubby and Zayde?
    
    One of the most common mistakes is to forget to get corsages for the grandmothers or boutonnières for the grandfathers. Make sure you have a checklist about who has gotten their corsages or boutonnières: mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, groom, groomsmen, ring bearer, etc.
    
    
13. Don't starve the day of your wedding.
    
    Make sure you have something to eat at least two hours before the wedding. The time to get horizontal is in your wedding bed, not during the ceremony when you keel over under the chuppah.
    
    
14. Avoid sore feet on your wedding night.
    
    Break in your wedding shoes and make sure they are comfortable several days BEFORE the wedding!
    
    
15. Communication Is Key!
    
    Communicate your wedding plans with those involved. The best way to communicate is for the women involved in your wedding (mothers, matrons, maids) is to go out for lunch when the men are watching a game. A lovely way to do this is to plan your wedding over brunch at a nice restaurant or boutique.
    
    
16. "The List Is Life"
    
    Checklists are a great idea to help you plan your wedding. Start putting them together as soon as you can during the wedding planning phase, when there's little stress and pressure.
    
    
    

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